Thanks guys!!!

Hmm...I am too free today, hahaha...so, I will blog for sometimes now, hehehe...Well, today is my birthday, I love my birthday, April 28, the best day and month ever =D I just wanna say thank you for everyone who has made my day; my boy friend who has given me the best gift ever (himself is the best gift ever), good dinner with family and good celebration with my brothers and sisters in Christ...I love him and I want to spend every second of my life with him, thanks Father for Your another best gift to me!!!

For my brothers, sisters and friends, thanks to you all for sparing the time and celebrated my big day in Strawberry cafe yesterday :) Simple, yet it was memorable and much more than anything else...Everyone expects people will at least remember their birthday and get a wish, but you all did more than it! Thanks for the arrangement everyone!

This month has been so lovely and beautiful for me! It's April,oh...I love you April!!! This is the month when I was born and be remembered (for my birthday), this is the month when I was once again confirmed to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, I have sudden birthday holiday from my boy friend, I have good thing goes on with my job, I have had lots of good good good mee, I had the most expensive soup ever, yet, I am carving for Hokkien mee (Penang prawn mee), I learn bit more open this month (at least with person that I feel comfort with :)  ), I have lots of good things this month, thanks Father, I know it's your graces :)

This day is the start of another good year with tons of blessing again, I can't wait for those to come; the challenges, the up and down time are on its way...I have to be ready!!! Leny, get ready and once again, Happy Birthday! and may God bless you on your birthday and everyday in everyway...

Happy Birthday to me!

 

Dear Heavenly Father,

thank you for your blessing today that I am alive,

I could get the breath of life from You again.

Father, 

today is my 22nd birthday

and for all the bad and good times, 

every moment in my life,

I wanna say thank you.

This year, I just wish I could be even better person that I love,

my families, my lover's family, my friends, my colleagues and anyone around me, 

as well as my family in Christ.

(I have same wish every birthday Father!hihihi...)

Father, 

help my self to learn to accept people for who they are,

please have Your way in me,

use me and people in You way for Your people and Kingdom Lord...

Help my self to get away from jealousy, negativism, self center and evils thoughts and characters far away from my life,

let me learn to life a live that You want me to live.

Father,

I truly thank you for things that had happen, happening and will happen in future,

For 22 years,

You teach me a lot and I learn lots of things in this life,

up and down of the life has made who I am now,

nevertheless, help me to be someone better Father,

have a full control in my life,

let me learn to surrender all things in my life,

make me more even faithful,

I lay my life at Your feet Lord,

hold me tight in Your sight and  love,

thank You Lord

thank you

Amen

I ♥ ...

- my family. Always. No matter what.

- my sister.

- God, my Heavenly father, who look after me throughout days of my life. He keeps me in His sight, loves and graces. 

- my boyfriend. I love him so so so muchie. Thank you for always be with me! ♥ 

- my secondary teachers. I miss to talk and cry to all of you.

- my BBF, FK and Nur. We seems apart from the distance, but I guess not. I miss you both.

- my elder in church, Sister Ee Wei. Thank you! ♥

- my church family. I wish I could be someone even better for all of you.

- shopping for craft materials. I wish I could do so.

- arranging stuff in my room and my bf's room. I wish that someday will come soon =D

- shower before I get to my bed.

- a good good good good good good good good good meal.

- holding his hand, hugging him, talking to him randomly and pampering my self just to him.

- talking to some one I close to randomly.

- body care, especially lotions.

- shoes.

- beach.

- job. I wanna learn to love them because it is the way to make things beautiful.

- traveling.

- having me-time without planning it.

- cakes.

- Lovely Lace kinds of things.

- reading through blogs about craft and fashion.

- helping person to their wedding day. It makes me happy.

- wearing pretty once in awhile. I am just happy.

- staying at bungalow with river/ lake behind, a big big field and far from the city for holiday.

- study. I wish I will never stop learning and studying in life.
- X'mas.

- my birthday.

- April.

- event planning.

I may love lots of more things. It reminds me how I should be thankful in life. Thanks Lord! :) My love lists maybe will get more and more someday. It should. It is a must. We supposed to love life and live life to the fullest. If you don't, learn to love and not to hate life and its things. Nothing and none of us is original. We are combination of all of it! :)

Note: I am so bored today. Nothing is to be done at work and yes, I am bored to the max...Guess what? I am going to Bangkok tomorrow for my birthday holiday, Yeah!!! I can't wait for tomorrow...Oh time, please fly faster!!!

Favourite Picks

"NEVER let the things you WANT make you FORGET the things you HAVE."

- Anonymous

"Never give up. When your heart becomes tired, just walk with your legs - but move on."

- Paulo Coelho

 

"You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control." 

- Eat, Pray, Love (2010)

"We all have problems, and it's not fair to compare to one another, but as long as we could accept each other, everything will be just fine."

- Rizqi Ranadireksa

 "When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.

Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.

Choice is yours."

"Believe in yourself no matter what, you will never know how
powerful you are until you love yourself."

- Lady Gaga

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people."

"If nobody will help you, do it alone!
There is no 'i' in team, but there is '1' in WIN!"

- Jordan

"Be thankful for hard times in your life. Try not to look them
as bad things, but as opportunities to grow and learn."

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."

- Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

"Stop waiting for things to happen and go out and make them happen."
"BE who you are. DO what you love. HAVE what you need."

- Erich Fromm

"The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."

 
- Dr. Seuss

"If people are trying to bring you down, that means you're
on the way up. Tell 'em hi and sail on by!"

"Respect other people's choices. It's their life, not yours."

"Keep a great attitude and doors will open!
Money might not make you happy, but happy will make you money."

 
- Rev Run

 

"FOCUS on your potential instead of your limitations.
Never, never listen to anybody that tries to discourage you!"

- Drimi Padmodimuljo

"There is NO elevator to success in everything. There's only stairs!"

♥

16.04.2011-part 2

I am back with my updates on my post 16.04.2011...I just wanna share with you of the seminar's (Learning to Comfort Those Who Mourn) speaker, Edmun Ng.

Here we go, Edmund Ng is a certified grief therapist who is qualified in ministry, counseling and Thanatology. He and his present wife, Pauline are the founder of GGP (Grace to Grieving Persons) Outreach in 2007. GGP is a grief support ministry that reaches out to people who have lost their loved ones. As a couple, Edmund and Pauline have ministered large numbers of bereaved people, both on one on one bases and collectively in Grief Support Groups.

Edmund has taught extensively on the subject in churches, seminaries, universities and counseling seminars. He has also spoken at international conferences, including the World Conference of Christian Counselors in United States.

For your information, Edmund and Pauline have experienced first-hand the deep pain and loneliness of suddenly losing their respective spouses. Edmund's first wife, Jessie died unexpectedly in intra-cerebral haemorrhage at the age of 49 while Pauline's first husband was killed in a car accident and she has been widowed for 15 years.

Edmund hold a master degree in Ministry. He has also taken post-graduate studies in counseling in Australia, Thanatology in United States and is presently a doctoral candidate (United Kingdom). He is also the member of the American Association of Christian Counselor and the Association of Death Education and Counseling (United States).

....Well, it proved that God has used their weaknesses for His purpose.. :)

Attending the seminar has equipped me well with the knowledge. It lets me have a better understanding and deeper inside over the situation and condition of people who have lost their lost one. I am one of them. However, I still don't able to identify and deal well with my emotions. I guess everyone is the same, will not deal well if he/ she has to be face in face with mourning people...Me and you may not be able to know what the right and the best way to talk with them; what to ask, what not to ask, how to start and how to add and because of this too, we tend to be ignorant to those people who actually are in need for loves and attention. 

For my case, till now, I don't like people ask about my past, but I wish people know it sometimes and then understand why I act so/ why I am different, but I don't like people give me their pity over my self. Even with the person that I love, I couldn't freely talk about it but I wish he ask me about it :)

Anyway, now I am about to start reading Edmund Ng's book titled "The Time Approach to Grief Support", I would love to share it, but my reading is very slow, hehe...For now, I hope I could overcome my mourning and say good bye to it because I don't want to get my self sink into it for the rest of my life...

I Am New by Jason Gray

from the album Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue

 You can give me a name
Call me whatever you like
Or weigh me down with shame
To crush me but you won't
My burdens are light

Chorus
I am not who I was, I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new

Now I won't deny
The worst you could say about me
But I'm not defined
By mistakes that I've made
Because God says of me

I am not who I was, I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new

Too long have I lived in the shadows of shame
Believing that there was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn't see me the way that I do
Who I thought I was
And who I thought I had to be
I had to give them both up
Cause neither were willing
To ever believe

CHORUS
I am not who I was, I'm being remade
I am new
Dead to my sin, I'm coming alive
I am new

Forgiven, beloved, Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy, reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy, this is our new name
This is who we are now

Glorious Day by Casting Crown

from the album Until The Whole World Hears

 One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

(Chorus)
Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

Chorus

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

Chorus

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine

Chorus

Happy Good Friday 2011!

Good Friday everyone...May this Easter be the new season for everyone for new hopes, new joy and new promises...

Someone wished me: " May you experience His love, deliverance and forgiveness this Easter and emerge as a new being fully embraced by His love!"...

I would say amen...amen and amen! I wish I could write what Good Friday is actually and share to you, why it is called Good Friday and so on, but I don't really understand and clear about it...Oh...What a shameful things! I have to learn this personally again :(  I can actually just copy paste from other website or links, but I don't wish to do so...Would I be blamed for not being able to write and share it out? I know Jesus was born in purpose that to be betrayed and crucified to set we free that we may have a new life in Him...

I read one post in Facebook today and I feel it true:

The greatest man in history, named Jesus, he had no servants, yet they called him Master. He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher. He had no medicines, yet they called him Healer. He had no army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

That's Him!!! I can say that He is real and true...Honestly, I am not spending this holy week well, I am too busy with schedule and when it comes to the quite time, I feel tired, but I always try to pray and read some scriptures before I go to my dreamland...I didn't do any meditations on some Easter scriptures and it ends today...I have done enough for His holy week...

I really wish this Easter, today, April 22, 2011; tomorrow, April 23, 2011, the day when I am baptized, could be new start for new life with new hopes in Him...(Oh, I pray the old me will die soon and never alive again too!!!)

Have a blessed Easter everyone!

"Father, deep inside...I still have that small little doubt that my own self could not identify it, but, with the strength that You have given to me, I stood up and registered my name to be baptized and I believe, that is actually the simplest way to get the doubts away...I never finish my bible reading, I condemned people sometimes, I don't pray hard everyday, I am not person who is well-liked, I hate people sometimes, I have swings moods too, I talked and behave bad too...I am just a sinner...but, thank you Father, You accepted me and yes, I wanna lay my life, the rest of mu life to your feet...I am long for journey with You...I want more and more of You...Thank you for redeeming me from the sin Father, please keep me in your sight and guidance so that I could learn to live in Your way and please, just let Your will be done in my life...Use me and my man for Your people and Kingdom, use both of us to extend Your Kingdom and Lord, may You heart both of us until the time we meet you! Thank you Father! Amen!"

 

Things are...

"Things are beautiful if you love them."

Thank you Rama Rizky for sharing this. 
Posted by Andra Alodita.

God is good!!! Always good...

Today, April 20, 2011...is another good day in my life and I believe my hard work and effort plus God's grace has made my day today...Guess what, I get my increment today!!! Wohoooooooooooo~ 

Thanks to my company, my self and Him...and my man who is always by my side, supporting me :) I am survived in my working world...!!!...and now, I feel everything gonna be beautiful because I want to learn to love my job more and more, even I complaint, even I feel bored with it and think that this is not me, but He has given it to me and I just want to take care of it, just like how I take care my man ;) hahahaha...Oh...I am happy! Thanks Father, my hard working personality and my man...You are really good to me all the time...

19.04.2011

I was in tears yesterday when I drove back to home...I was not sure why. Things came to my mind randomly; my job, family, my spiritual and my relationship...I miss my mum is the only thing I am sure about...maybe the old love song played brought me back to memory and I was in tears, who knows???

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” 

(Ephesians 2:8a NIV)

Yay!!! I decided finally, wohoooooooooo~

I decided to be baptized this coming Easter on Saturday, April 23, 2011. It is gonna be a happening April; my birthday month and my spiritual birthday, HAHAHAHA...

After struggling for few weeks, it was my final decision. I don't know how He work, but I believe, He is with me :) Thanks Father ;) I still have doubts and so much traffic in my mind, but it is likely I make all it by my own. Thank to my dearly man prayer, elders and anyone who has included me in his/ her prayer... Thank you so so much and may God always be with you.

With the baptism, I do really really hope, I could be some one better. I hope the old bad me will die and the new me in Him will rise. Amen! 

In this Holy Week, a week before Easter, Sunday, April 24, 2011, I would try to have more quiet time with Him; reading His word, spend more time to pray for my baptism, my self and others. May this baptism be the confirmation of my spiritual growth in Christ and may the baptism embrace me to the journey with Him and His people in my life. 

Read Romans 6, Romans 7 and Romans 8. 

16.04.2011

It was Saturday and I was going to attending a seminar in FGA Centre, Air Hitam. It was a grief support seminar and was conducted by Edmund Ng. I would give you a brief about who he is in my next post, okay? Sorry for delay ;)


I was struggling whether to attend it or not, but with the companion of the elder of my church, I would be going. I went there with Sister Ee Wei, one of elders in my church, who is also the closest person I attach too. It was one day seminar from 9am to 4pm. For me, it was good seminar, especially to equip every one of us at any age to have a knowledge and better understanding how to help, deal and understand person who mourns.


I got to know lots of things about grieving and mourning. Even it was not really interactive seminar, but it helped me to have more and deeper insight of griefing and mourning. I was lost few times during the seminar because I was so sleepy, hahaha...but, no worry, I gained something.


Through the seminar, I realized I am still in e very raw stage of griefing. I thought my self have dealt well with my personal experience, but not in fact. In seven years, I have dealt with any of it 100%. I am not able to identify my emotion as well. The seminar pointed out lots of points about briefing and mourning, but yet,  I was like hang in somewhere of it, not really this or that.


I just started to deal with my grieving after seven years. I was thinking to help my sister, but it is more likely now I have to deal with my own first before I could help her. Seven years ain't easy, I know my self better; what I feel, what I experience, what I think of, what I hope and wish for. In the midst of my tragedy, I know and realize, all this while I am not alone. My heart and my life are held tightly by my Heavenly Father through people around me; people that I love and people that dislike.


I wished I could cope with it 80%. I don't want it drags me longer time to my relationship and my future, especially my future family. I don't know what impact it would bring, some goods and bad maybe. I have no idea. Sister Ee Wei told me I have to say good bye to them. I wonder how I could do that, I loss them in a sudden when I didn't have any chance to see them for the last time..Deep inside, I am really scared I would forget them as my life goes on...I don't wish their shades fade in my life. At the same time, I don't wish it drags me longer and longer...

Updates Updates!

I have been good all these times with a bit bad times amongst them! Still, thanks God for every little single things in my life...

Well, I am going to bring your mind to travel with me again in time :) I was graduated back in December 2009 and then struggled with my decisions between staying in Penang, continuing my study or working. I was struggling all along and has some conflicts about these choices with my self most, God, elders in the church, families, people around me and yes, my man. However, soon, everything was answered and prepared. I am settled well till present. Thanks God for His graces over my life...

I got a good job with good offer...The nature of work is not really into mine, but people said everything is beautiful when we love them...As time flies, yes...I start loving it and enjoy it...but, there is a time when I feel..."Hmm...I think this is not me!"...The greatest part of all is I am just survive until this second...Honestly, I won't be able to survive without my heart being held by Him, my man, my own mind.


Guess what, my job makes me able to buy a car, my own new car, insurance and savings. Ohh...I admit everthing is more than enough...Your graces is more than enough Lord!!! But, so bad, I am still human, I ask for more for my life sometimes ;) I am so sorry!!!


Nothing is much about my decision about study due to some problems...I deal well with families now at the least, I could feel it...but not with colleagues, some friends and even my brothers and sisters, hahaha...I fail!!! I am not sociable enough, I am not caring enough, I am just not doing enough in my life...I hope I could have been someone better for Him, His people and kingdom and for sure, people around me that I love...

Oh yeah, yay!!! I am serving His ministry now..I involve in ministries!!! I still love singing to serve Him and now, I am exploring Him through kids and young teenagers in the Boys' Brigade (I am the secretary and responsible for Junior Section)...Honestly, I hope to involved in more and more activities, just like others..I would love to do it and hope to be assigned with more tasks and responsibilities. Anyway, I never enjoy my self in jealousy and envious in my life :( but, I am still sinner and can not really go off with these...Sob Sob


Hmm..the most important things and updates of all in my life now are not all these, but far more important is my baptism...I am struggling. It is pretty weird someone could struggle with it, hahaha...I just told my man, as if the easiest and simplest step to get the peace of mind is just to stand up and register my name? Will is be "That's it!!!"? He said YES! and I guess so too...Oh...please, pray for me...!!! It is one week to come Father, please have your way in me...

I am now here!

Hmm...Finally, I can start to write again after a year...I moved from http://timesinherlife.blogspot.com/ and now, I am here...Blogging now is one of my priority and I need it urgently to be apart of my life...It is just true that I need to write...I don't have diary but at least, I have this, blog as my virtual diary...Welcome back again Leny...!!! See you in few hours for latest update of my life :)