New Year 2012 for a new chance, a new hope and new opportunity

Tomorrow is a New Year Eve, 31 December 2011. Days passed so fast and I am not really ready for year 2011 to go. Good bye to 2011. Thanks for the good and bad moments. Well, new year is coming, and I just wanna fix and get things right for all year long. Cheers everybody!~

Here I go for my New Year's resolution:

1. Finish my Bible reading

2. Regular prayer (a morning prayer and night devotional)

3. Live gracefully, thankfully and gratefully each day (start with a day, two days, week, weeks, months, amen!)

4. Get enough sleep

5. Sport regularly

6. Learn to sing better and better with my heart (and planning to get a course if it's affordable)

7. Focus in the main purpose when I serve in church ministry (not to get any rewards, return, etc, but to serve and help)

8. Read few book a year at least (3)

9. Be positive and positive (control my temper and thoughts, as well as my actions)

10. Learn to listen 

11. Learn to establish an even better relationship with things and people around me

12. Have one trip at least with my loved ones/ families/ friends (COMPLETED)

13. Do well and take my job seriously and do it even better than years before

14. Establish good sisterhood and friendship with my sister (keep her in prayer always)

15. Continue my study if God wants me to study

Be a better and positive person after in all aspects of my life with people and things around me. It is always one of my new year's resolution, but sad, I am not really improving or maybe I am not all. Year 2011 is not a good breakthrough year for me. It is bad instead. I had quite numbers of worst life moments here. 

See you all my resolutions. See you all in December 2012. I hope I would have myself surprised at the end of the year. :)

Lord, keep leading me and guide me in Your way. Draw me close and closer to You each day through things and people around me. Use me too, in Your way.; to help and to serve people You want me to serve and connect with. Keep my loved ones, my sister, my families, relatives and friends always in Your hand. Strengthen me inside out too Lord! Change me inside out to be someone You want me to be! Please, please have Your way in me Lord! I give all to Your hands! Pray in Jesus glorious Abba Father name. Amen...

Good bye to you 2011!

2011, well...it has been a good-bad year. I have had good and bad moments with my friends, families, colleagues, relatives and my loved ones. Me, myself not have not been good enough for the year. I failed people and even my own self, I make other disappointed and hurt some people in life.

It's hard to say goodbye when you know the year is now coming to an end and you haven't done anything meaningful for people and things around you. Honestly, if it happened people ask me what you have done this year, well..um...I am not so sure what to answer. I try to do best in my job (it's a yes, but I complaint still and few times I didn't put my heart in and just finished for deadline), I serve in my church ministry (yes for sure, in worship team and BB ministry, as well as in youth committee, yet I still complaint about few things and people and I haven't been the one who could really work well and not the real good one, but I try my best), I share, take and give (yes, all in one, I need to do more) and blah blah blah...

This morning, when I drove to work. I remembered about my last new year's resolution. When I try to tick them in my mind, whether I hit or not well, I can't name even one. I don't seems to be improving my attitude and behavior after so many things happened,  I haven't finished reading my bible, I haven't committed my self to pray everyday without a miss, I haven't be positive, thankful or grateful enough. What have I been doing all these year? It was more likely daily routine; I wake up at the morning, I drive to work while listening to music and praying, I arrive at the office,taking my b'fast, listening to music, watching videos, blogging, facebook-ing, surfing internet, do my job in the midst of these things until 5pm or even more if I have too, I go back to my home, go to gym if I am free and not tired, or dating friends/ my loved ones if any, I have my own movie/ I cook my dinner/ I read few pages of books/ magazine, pray and sleep. That is my weekday routines. Really, I can't recall any good things/ meaningful things I have done to people and things around me, except this Christmas for what I have done to two young men . It is a sad things and I would like to start a new resolution next year and hope that I would be surprise my own self at the end of the day. Could I?

I just wanna say thank you to all things and people around me. Whether I failed you, hurt you, make you feel bad, I made you disappointed or anything else that made you sad or angry. I am truly sorry and I would have myself to do even better next year, all day long. I haven't been enough thankful and grateful too in life for people and things around me. Basically, I am more likely to be negative, full of complaints and not good enough. It is really hard for me to say goodbye 2011, but I need to let them go as to have what is awaiting me next year.

Wishing you all a happy, blessed and joyous New Year! Here are some pics I love to share with you!

 ...He gives us so much more than the risen sun, blossoms flowers and the blue sky. It a new hope and new blessings for each everyone of us each morning...I wanna count it and let the joy come over me for every little single things in me.

 

 Remember: Life doesn't have to be perfect for you to be happy. Every little things counts and matters. Get over it and look beyond the imperfection. Be happy Leny, nobody and nobody's life is perfect!

 He know you and me best. He plan and give the best. It may not be the best in the beginning for you, but He will make things work for you through people and things around you. It prospers you!

 Life your life to the fullest! Live each day as it's last day of your life!
“Learn how to live and you'll know how to die; learn how to die, and you'll know how to live.”
  -Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie-

 Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. 

~ Oprah Winfrey ~

 A new day is not on New Year's Eve. It's a new day everyday when you wake up and see the sun rise.

Blessed and joyous new year for you and me!

 Cheers to you and me for year and days to come...!!! =)

 “The secret to happiness...be satisfied and be grateful.”
- Mitch Albom, Have a Little Faith: The Story of a Last Request -

 Learn, change, grow and make difference in days to come...and be surprised at the end of the day!

 The old year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The new year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months! 

~ Edward Payson Powell ~

 All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. 

~ Walt Disney ~

 Years come and go, and numbers never matter! Dream and live!!! Cheers~

 Fight for change, to hold on and to let go! Never give up and keep fighting...

 Letting go doesn't mean you forget or give up on thing or person! It's just another new step to welcome what is ahead of you!

 Especially for you! Set your new year's resolutions and check 'em out next year! You'll be surprised.

 ...The ball is suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we... opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt because that is what new years is all about- getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about what if and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight and it will drop, let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long.

-Claire Morgan at New Year's Eve-

*Psst...those above is more likely I am talking to may self, encouraging and motivating my own self and my own prayer. *

I had a bad day - 27.12.2011

Yesterday, I had a really bad day. Being lack of sleep, made my mood swing the whole day. I was super tired and sleepy. I hoped I could stop the time for awhile and sleep, but it was impossible. My sister and her new family were coming yesterday as well. I picked them up from the airport and we headed for lunch at QB Mall. One thing, I didn't feel comfortable, as maybe I am tired, moody and all. I believe they could see it as well (my bitter and tired face). I feel like dealing with strangers, even with my sister. I arranged few things and plan for them, but it didn't seem to work well. So, I'll just let them do in their way. I could see that her husband didn't like it. Well, I don't know, but we were more likely to be strangers for each other for whole day.

It was first thing and second things was that my conversation with my loved ones most probably led to the conflict. It happened at least three times yesterday, excluded days before. I felt like to give up as I always made him feel bad and mad. I was thinking a break and a stop would help us maybe, but it should not be the way. I am getting worst each day and I feel like to go away from place people know me, to go somewhere far far away where no one know me.

Yesterday's bad day not end yet, I had a minor accident with my car. I am okay, but the car was not okay. I felt so sad. I blamed the guard too, he should be guarding me when I wanna go in to park my car too. I missed the lower pillar on the other side.

It was not the end of the day, my auntie told me again about my sister things and her new family. I felt like, stop telling me all this. I need to know the truth too, but the whole things screwed my mind up. More or less, those bad things influenced me. It was so bad. My sister never told me anything; maybe she knew and hide it, nothing happen for sure or she just knows nothing plainly. I am tired to listen all this. When I feel that, I choose to tell my uncle (from my mom side) to know about it. Rather than sharing with my loved one. It is like adding his burden and mind, also I can guess what he would tell me. I hope I won't be adding the burden to him as well.

I hope things would goes well. I am tired.

26 December 2011

26 December 2011

It was the seven-years anniversary for Tsunami victims in Nanggroe Aceh Darussalam (Banda Aceh). It was also the anniversary for my mum, my dad, my uncle and my brother. Seven years passed, you all will always be missed. I truly believe that we will always be in love forever. I miss you all.

I did nothing special on that day, not even a proper prayer (it was more likely a thought). Instead, I had fun with my loved one, we had singing practice and a boxing day with my friends at night. It was a really tiring day that I almost forget that day was their memorial day. I knew I tried to avoid to any media. I am scared it would be reporting about the Tsunami or what so ever. I don't really like it. 

I miss you all anyway. May you all and all others victims rest in peace.

Merry Christmas!!!

I wish my self, my loved ones, my friends and family a merry Christmas. May this Christmas season bring hope, joy, love and happiness to every one. Be merry and cheers!

"Christmas is not all about the gifts, holidays or shopping. It is more than celebration, singing and dancing all day night. It is again the time for us/ a reminder for you and me of the born Jesus Christ, who came to the earth for you and me. May the born of our King always be reminder for everyone of us that we are loved by Him, in spite of who we are and what we are for others. His unconditional love is far greater beyond what human beings ever known about. No one would ever love us like He does."

 Peace on earth and goodwill towards all men!

 May this Christmas brings you hope, joy, love and happiness! Be bright for days and years to come! =)

 Happy holidays people...! Have fun!!!

 It is that time of the year again, when you are thankful for everything merry and bright. May this Christmas be a delight! Merry merry Christmas!

 Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will,
We'll keep our Christmas merry still. - Sir Walter Scott

 Christmas is not all about singing and dancing all night long! It's all about sharing and giving...

 Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. - Augusta E. Rundel

Here's wishing you all the joys of the season. Wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas! Cheers~

♥

Christmas is forever, not for just one day,
for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away
like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others is good you do yourself...
~Norman Wesley Brooks, "Let Every Day Be Christmas," 1976

Hello and Good Bye to December!

I just wanna say hello to December! I hope it would be a good month to end the year of 2011.Honestly, I had few bad moments recently; with my loved ones, my sister and my friends. Well, actually I have this piece pending and only today, I continue to write this piece of writing. Not yet I say my hello, good bye is on its way. Few more days are coming and end the year of 2011.


Since November, I have not into writing due to my schedule, my laziness too. I feel bad, I didn't write my life down here for quite a long time. I still remember highlights of my days anyway.

1. November was a quite pack month. I had my holiday in end of October. I had my sister's wedding back in Medan and how things were, well...I wrote it out and hope I could have stopped to write about it. I don't like to write about it actually. I still remember one last time when my auntie visited here, she told me about my sister again that she was changed and after married, she just got herself away from those family ethics (what my family expected us to do as a younger generation; telling them if they will be in outing with who, whom and when) and at the same time, it is awakening fact and truth for me that, they expect us to do that even we get married. She said my sister is being disrespectful and all. I was so sad to hear that from my own uncle's wife. I feel like, what makes my sister is becoming like this/ impressing them with this kind of thought. I never told my sister. I don't want herself to be sad or just stop to add another new burden in her life. I don't like my family told me, please just don't let me know, it is not the thing I like to know. Honestly, I feel like I got to be influenced by those comments, warnings, advices on HOW I look at my sister, her husband and their family and I never want to be like that. Sometimes, I never accept my sister wholly for who and what she is; what she does, how she acts/ talks/ thinks/ behave sometimes. Simple, I seem to be look down at her sometimes. Is this what sister for? Not a sister like me of course. Distant really tears us apart, from a sisterhood to be friends and even strangers.

2. Since my sister getting married, we both are just like away and sometimes I feel that, this thing makes me jealous to see sisters who have a good sisterhood. I always try to text my sister and she never told me anything until I asked. Her answers for all were yes, no, noted and she doesn't know. Maybe I think and expect too much. I know, my way talking to her/ asking her could be irritating enough or due her uncomfortable with me since long time ago. Well sis, just be happy there and live your life. :)

3. I got clash with my good friends during the outings. I knew all were my faults. I spoilt everyone's moods, especially my loved ones. I made him disappointed and sad. I believed others too and it change the way how they look and think of me. It was the consequences and I would be ready for all I guess, more or less, things change. It is hard and very saddening thing for a very simple reason. It was all just I was not happy for all comments and the way some people talk. I had my temper showed that time, I chose not to join any picture taking session with them and kicked my self out from the group.  I can't go back to that time and be good. Well, now I know. It was not I didn't feel guilty. All I could say was it was really one of the worst day in my life. Next time, I would think 100 times if I am going to organize any outing with my friends; would I be able to control my temper all day long and enjoy? Well, from now on, I think I would put things on hold (for an outing).

I am truly sorry for my bad temper. I just hope they won't have anything bad on/ about my loved ones. He is friendly, nice man to talk too and a man who like to have fun with his good friends, I am far from that. I wish he won't change his good things because of me who is not friendly and positive enough; from the way I talk, think and act. I wish I could really have my self changed. Be better and positive of course.

After that day, I know I change and few things changed. It was really plain saddening thing in life.

4. For the first time in my life, I went to concert of Jackie Cheung. It was great concert. Even he was not feeling well, he did his best and it was awesome. Too bad, we did not buy any concert related stuff and it made the fun less a bit. I would be looking forward to see next concert of my favorite singer or great group maybe. Thanks guys, I had fun that night.

5. After all, December came, I could feel my Christmas mood is on and lessen at the middle of it and now, up again again. I don't really involve this year, a bit disappointed, but it was fine, I will be still singing tomorrow for countdown session and am happy. I may not involved in the committee much this year, for that, I feel sorry because it was not me. The greatest part of this Christmas I could feel is the value of sharing. No doubt, I had more money spent this Christmas, but I am happy. Christmas 2011 is all about sharing and giving. Two young men in my cell group in my priority amongst all. The satisfaction was there when I shared and am just happy. Now, I got to really learn and realize, no matter how small or invisible of things we do for people or even in God's ministry, we do it for Him and the person, without thinking or expect how other would see/ think about it, the real satisfaction is there.When you feel hesitate to share, He make us not to. He prepares few things and you are there. Thanks to both young men and my loved one, who always remind me of this things. At least now I know, I have the good side too.

Last but not least for this piece, time flies, things happens and people change. Whether you like or not, life goes on and you have to keep moving. Once told, if you don't like thing, never expect people to change or don't try to change that particular things, but from yourself inside out, control and change what yourself can change and control (your response, your attitudes, your thought and all). It is not deniable that it is easy told but it ain't easy when you come to practice it in life.

“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Rom. 12:18). 

 Amen.