There was a song saying that there are not many good things in this life and we can't have them all. Another quote said everyday of life may not be a good day, but there is always something good and I believe so.:)
There was in March, end of March, another blessing came and I am blessed again. It was the Convergence Camp on 29 March to 31 March 2012. It is an annual camp for all FGA youths in all over Malaysia; Batu Pahat, Ipoh, Miri, Segamat, Psalm Ministry Penang, River of Life Bandar Puteri, Seremban, Taiping and River of Life Segambut.. It was a kind of combine gospel and leadership camp for youths from those FGA. I never heard of it and somehow, I was called by one of my church's Pastor to help out and it was a YES from me to be involved in it because I feel like I wanna do and join, I like organizing event/ camp stuffs like this, I wanna meet new friends, I wanna have fun and learn something new. I was excited at the first and kind feeling nervous because it meant I have more things to do besides my job, my study and my others things, and I am scared I could not do it well and worry that I won't be able to mix with them, new group of people that I never meet before and spend time with them in camp, it was like "no lah, scary!" hhaha. Initially, I was like, "Okay, I will just help the planning and I would tell them I could not go because of my job!" and that was it in my mind.
I never meet them, I met them virtually through FB photos and all, and I worked with the rest of the committee online too, cool huh? We met in skype, facebook and emails. It was like, "WOW, just cool as I never has this kind before!". I helped a lot in the accommodation which helped by Hui Jen, a brother from my English church, and he really helped a lot hahaha, foods and budgeting which later on was taken over by Paik Li, my new sister in Taiping. I tried best to provide them with the best I could do and what Penang could offer them. I don't know how, finally I joined the camp. I knew that I was planning about my leave for that actually. Main reason is because I wanna have a break and have fun even I was nervous too, that I gonna work with people I never met and spend days with them.
...and the day came.I took one day off and met them in KFC on 29 March, well...nervous!!! Hahahaa, but ehhh...I was wrong, they are so friendly and older than me actually, they are like my sister and brother, yet they are fun people and nice! They talked a lot and asked a lot too and finally they know a bit of my past and I was okay with that. First, I didn't want to say, thinking of bluffing them, but I just told them :) From the first meeting, I feel like I know them so so long. We get along fast. We talked a lot, asked this and that and honestly, I have never met a group people that even in daily conversation, they praise Lord a lot, they said positive things and thanked God a lot. I felt so "malu" when I bought them a drink, they thanked me and blessed me and for every little single thing, they said good things about God a lot, praising Him and worshiping Him. Oh, I was thinking, when could be someone that think so positive in life, say good things, worshiping Him in whatever I do in life? Long way for me to, even now, I could not and have not been in that 30% I guess, hahaa...
Back to the weekend, we did a lot during the camp. The speaker shared about those leaders in Bible. They were David, Esther, Nehemiah and few others. We sang a lot, we have that quiet time to pray, we were blessed as well by those speakers' and friend's prayer....and I was exposed too to different style of worship, songs and one again, it opened my eyes and my mind that there are so much talented young man out there and we got to do something. By attending this camp, it made again realize that serving Him is a privilege that given to us, not us doing a favor to Him. We are chosen. That faithful, servant and steadfast heart are the key. We need to obey Him, no matter what that is. It is important that we obey than we sacrifice in serving Him and people. Every time, I asked for prayer, I asked for grace and a servant heart, because I never be graceful enough to people.:)
Once in the camp too, I met a girl is that almost the same with me. I guess I should be thankful that even I lost my parent and I am an orphan, I am still luckier than her. She was youth leader in the church and a good drummer. Her passion and her thoughts really woke me up and assure me that He is the only one we should depend on. He is the only one that could give us unconditional love. Well, she was adopted and now she is living with her mum. She lost her dad years ago. The only thing that she is scared of is losing her mum again. I know how that feeling is. She never knew who her biological parents are, but she is just thankful and God' love, Abba Father is the thing that hold her until now. She told me the same, we still have God even we lose everything in the world. It just amazed me that how could someone live that way. My man told me many times before and again she told me that we should live by faith in Him with His unconditional love. May I be able to live my life that way too, believing He is my Father, my supplier and my provider.
A lot of good things happened during the camp. I felt touched, blessed in the weekend. Meeting His people from different places, taught me a lot of things. How to be positive, be sincere and passionate in serving Him and how we should act while we serve Him. One more things is that, I am so happy to get another family in Him, I still believe, He took few things out of my life and He would give more for that in this life. He is always good and I forget about that sometimes because of my emotion and bad thoughts. Attending the camp, make me wanna do something for the youth now, as now I am not in the youth, it is kind of hard to share about what movement or what awaken things we should do as a youth and leader in the church. I just told the youth leader that let me know if they need help to reach out as I have contacts with those youths in Penang or other places and that is all I could do. It is not that I don't want to share with them what I learnt and what I wish we could do together. Honestly, I have kind of redrawn from my self from the youth teams. I redrew my self form cell group too due to my personal schedule and needs. Now, I am attending Young Working Adults Group with the English section. In some way, I just feel I belong to them better than in my own church group. I maybe have been so negative, judgmental and other else, but that is what I feel. Is it maybe I know them well and they know too well that things happened and I decided to do so, I am not sure for that really. They have youth jamming every Saturday, but I was never invited and I believe they may think I don't want, they may think I would have spend time with my man, or maybe it is just for youth or may be I should tell them that I wanna be a part of it. :) I don't know and I have no idea for that. I would blame myself for that I just poor in social skill and my own personal characters that is just not good.
Well, after all, once again, I just wanna do what I could do in the ministry serving Him, whatever His called is. Even I could not be a part of some things or few things in church, at least I am doing something for one person and that is enough I guess. There sure will be a jealousy, I believe. Even I could not be a part of them anymore, it is good to see they all grow and bonded. :) God, just use and call me then for Your work, whatever is that. :) I think I am ready??? I don't know really. Ah, it is out of topic of the blessed moment I guess, so random.
Well ya, Thanks God, You blessed me with this moment by joining the camp, by giving me a chance to be a part of it, to be blessed by those people that I know. I am just happy that weekend, one of the happiest in this year.I feel like I found back my true colors and my laugh. :)
Thanks everyone and I miss you guys! Xoxo
