Finally today, I got to write again after weeks, months maybe. So many and so much things happened, bad times and good times for sure in all aspects of life, included my study, my job and my personal life. Again, I could not really recall what happened and how life was, ah...I just now good things and bad things happened in life.
Recently, I was stuck and struggle with super small and little and tiny online business I have with my BF's sister...Well, I would say and give our partnership as 2 out of 5 points. Honestly, I regret asking her to join me :( We just could not get along really well as both of us expected maybe. Ah... I could not say anything, one thing to comfort me, I have to learn to deal, to cope and handle with it. It shows me once again that I am not really good working in group/ team. It is a sad thing, but a fact I have to accept. I will try hard anyway. I have too. I just hope this little business will not break or affect our relationship. Somehow still, I could see it bring a little impact in relationship amongst us. Oh God, help me please, give me wisdom in my human/ social skill. It has been my prayer all this time, do I change?
Then, still about my study. This month is my fourth month and I haven't seen and notice any good habits from my self to study :( I feel like to give up sometimes and unmotivated at the same time. It is not easy to study while working. Not to say, I am so busy with big projects and stuffs like those big people, have no time, this and that, but I just feel some how, compared to full time student, me as a part time student have to put effort three to four times more. With other stuffs and things on hand, it really depends on time management and self discipline and the truth is I am just so far and out from this until now. I hope I could get my college spirit back soon before the assignment due date and exam in June >.<
Life goes on still, and I realize time flies and it's April now. My exam is also coming soon, assignment due date in weeks time, and many things are up from my ministry in Boys' Brigade in this April, June and August. Packed, hectic, fun and tiring at the same time and sometimes,I hope time could stop for awhile so I can rest and have my own sweet time.
I also have made a decision to redraw myself from leading cell group due to my schedule and personal reason. It is one of my resolution, but now I got to leave it and keep it, but still, I decided to serve those young teens in my own way and space. May God still and would always use me to help and care of them. I hope still to surprise myself by end of the year with something even more from my resolutions. I am sorry in some way for making this decision, some people just think I may need to have time for my own self. I really decided once after I realize again how important actually focus is in His ministry. I could not do all at the same time and expect I would always do well too. Amongst all, I decide to focus in Boys' Brigade ministry and worship team only, and of course helping here and there is necessary. Youth camp would be up in December and I have decided to join one of the committee's department. It seems the whole year things to do list has been listed out well and it is quite pack days anyway.
Ministry in the church has been quite a headache for me. It is supposed to be joyful things to do, but not for me sometimes. I think too much maybe. Besides that, there are some factors that I believe make me feel in certain way and certain thought;my background, my personality, my behavior, the way I do things, the way I think and all play a role here. What ever is that, I will keep in prayer that God may give me more wisdom, grace and positive energy to my self, inside and outside me, and give me strength upon strength to go on in my life, in every aspects. I am ready to be used by God in any place He needs me, even not in my own church.I am just ready Lord after all, I give you this heart really, give me more grace and a servant heart, then used, anytime and anywhere.
I have decided too, to do and join more things to let my spiritual life grows. I don't want to be limited by certain things and people in life. I just met a friend in camp I attended weeks before, she shared to me God loves for her self since she lost his father and until finally, she found out that she was adopted. She could live everyday because she believes God is with her, the unconditional love of Abba Father is all she needs and the most important thing in her life to keep her going with her mom. The only thing she worries is losing her mum.I understand the feeling she has, but I believe, she would be able to cope with it, at least better and stronger than me who actually lost my parents and my brother. At least, I knew both who were my biological parents. Anne and auntie Grace, my prayer will be with you always, I miss you guys anyway! :) Father, please be with them always, bless and love them with Your unfailing love. Hold in any moments of their life.
Well, it comes about my job again. Nothing much, still about the busyness and the complex cases/ report from clients.There has been a good change in company policies. All I could say is more than enough for me now; pay, days off, benefits and all. Even I still complain sometimes for certain things XD It has been busy days since 2012. Since it was just acquired by Thomson Reuters and as we know, the bigger is the company, the more complex is the system and it is so TRUE. I realize there are so many links and password to remember, included my distant learning student portal and other personal sites. For this aspect of life, I just wanna keep remind myself to be thankful and grateful (which sometime I don't), I just want strength and wisdom in dealing with job and my colleagues. I want to live a life that glorify His name through what I say, what I do, what I think and all, even the simplest things. I haven't life that life yet anyway. :) Jesus, lead me to the righteousness, to live out the Christian live wherever I am in what ever I do, may all glory be to You ONLY. Amen! :)
This piece would come to an end. I did not really write exactly. I forgot some details and event in my life. I hope I could write more and more next time in the midst of my busy schedule.I just feel good after writing all. Well, see you soon in next piece of writing. It would be about another blessed moment in my life. :))
