Monday 20 June 2011

My Dad's days

Yesterday was Father's Day. Too bad, both my mum and dad were not on this world anymore. I miss them in those special occasions. They had been gone for seven years, but still, I still miss them. I don't hope that my love for them will become less. Of course, I don't even hope I would forget them one day. I just wish me and my sister could keep them in our heart forever and let it be story and history of our lives, let them be our hero forever and never let the story become tragedy for our lives in the future.

Compared to my mum, I remembered lesser things about my dad. It might be because I was too small. I was about 13 years old when I was last stayed with them together. I didn't know if the age of 13 years old was considered too small or my memory was low. Th fact is that I didn't really remember every little things about my dad.

My dad was an optician. I was not sure how he started that, but I guessed he followed his older brother footstep. My dad was an optician in other state for few years before he came back to our hometown and started the business there. Talking about business, my dad's business in our hometown was not really good due to the high competitions amongst opticians during that time, but at least, he stayed with us. If not, he usually would only be homed about once a month, I hardly remembered about that. Anyway, he drove back from the other state to our hometown. Me and family usually visited him during our school holiday. I still remembered he drove us for good food and beach. I still remember that we knew his two good friends there and we were friend to his friends' children. I lose contact with them since my dad was back to our hometown and since after the Tsunami in 2004. I was last contacted one of them years ago and now, we lose contact with them.

My family was not a rich family, but we stayed in quite big and old wooded house with a big big field. It was not in city center. We had different people as our neighbors, but wonderfully, my mum and dad dealt with them well, but still, our house was robbed once. Go back to my dad, he was not an educated man and rich compared to his siblings, but he was greatest amongst all, I guess and other people said the same. He was a simple man with simple life. We had car once, but I was not sure if it was fully my dad or his siblings helped him in getting the car. My dad ate everything, he was not picky in foods and clothes. We lived good life everyday, at least we were never in hunger. 

My dad usually would drive me and family every weekend to beach or just to have a ride around my hometown. Beach was our favorite destination because we could swim and play with friends, and for sure, we usually would have grilled fish and coconut along the sea side. I am personally now, hardly to have this kind of time, maybe people that I mix are modern enough and don't really bother to do this kind of things. Too bad, dad had to sell his car because of financial and internal problem (with his siblings). I was not so sure. Soon, he got his motorbike, he still rode us sometimes and hardly to have a family time that days. Hm, my dad was a tall and good looking guy. He was thin but his stomach was big enough (old man maybe).

I still remembered a day in my life time that he was really angry and mad at me. I was forcing him to bring me to my friend place which was so far away from my place just because Tisah, my friend told me she had lots of pets and animals at her house. She was staying nearby jungle in rural area. My father beat me for that because I was forcing him. I guess I won't forget that day. I didn't hate him anyway, I hardly remember if I hated him few days after that, I guessed so.

I miss them, my mum, my dad and my brother. Every moment that I spent with them was treasurers in my life. Dad always gave compliments about my self. I was so happy about that. He must be proud of me. Every one in my family know how bad my attitude is (especially for selfish and stubborn), but he loved me more compared to my sister and my brother (my mom loved him more, but they both still loved my sister too, the level was just slightly different by one or two points maybe) . It might be because I talked to him more and I didn't scared of him. He likes to hit my but just to play with me. He liked to listen to me when I was karaoke-ing. I liked to get my self pampered to him too and yes, I usually helped in massage by walking up on his back. He liked it, hahaha. 

I miss to spend more time with them actually, especially in the time that I would work and have my own money and life. It would be great if I could share with them; buying them things they want, treating them for foods and drinks that they want, having holiday with them and my sister. Honestly, my family seldom had a holiday family. It was very rare to have everyone of us gather together due to financial, times and places. At the other side, I am happy that both mum and dad were gone for good sake that they didn't have to worry about paying insurance, paying bills for us, worrying me and my sister, having difficulties to deal with earthly problems nowadays. They were in peace now. However, for my brother, it was too fast for him to be gone forever. Everyone of us and my family know that my brother was not loved by everyone. It was because he was naughty, he didn't speak Hakka well (because of circumstances and people he dealt with), because he was not smart and so on, but he was my dearly loved son. Me and my sister didn't deal well with him too, again, we were not old enough to understand him. When he was gone, I realized we didn't do much and love him much. I was regret about that and further, last, my mum said he was getting better; he studied well, he became more and more mature as me and my sister were leaving mum and dad for education. I never met him for six months since me and sister were in Medan. I hated the fact that he was too young to go forever. 

If there was a chance for me to say the last things with them, everyone of them, my mum, my dad and my brother, I would say:

"Mom and Dad, thanks for everything that you both had done for me and sister. We are doing great in life. We have good life with lots of up and down sometimes. Sister is getting married this November with someone who loves her. She is going to have her own family. You both have to watch her out from the above, especially her marriage and her happiness in the future. Me too, I have a great life. I have good job, I bought car, insurance and have saving on my own. I have great lover who loves me so much and loves me for who I am. His family too, love me. I have bunch of brothers and sisters in Christ. I always have someone to talk to about your both. We both have good and great life. You too must be happy and proud of both us.
For your brother, I love you and hope I could do more just for you. The time we spent was too short. I love you so much. Me and sister wanna be a part of you three again in future life"


Mom, Dad, you both may know and see how well we could deal with siblings from your both sides. We are not doing great with everyone of them, but believe me and sister that both of us have tried our best. We could not please anyone and get everyone trust on us. You must be know how hard we try. It is true that we couldn't get along with everyone of them, but one thing for sure is we will always remind our selves to be thankful and grateful to have everyone of them when you both are gone. They love us and help us a lot. May God give me and sister more wisdom and strength to deal with them. May God bless them just like how I was ever blessed to have both of you three in life. 

Forget about them and let's go back to my dad's days! :) No matter how many and how much things I remembered about him, I am happy to be a part of them, I am proud to have this man as my dad (ordinary man who left some extraordinary things in my life and some people life-they said my dad was a very kind and good man, the best amongst his siblings)...Thanks dad for everything you have done for us. We may not or ever shower you with praises or mention your name in songs we sings or our daily life, but you have a special place in our hearts. No one would know how valuable the moments and time we had; even good or bad, but I will always be proud to say that you are my dad, my hero. Thanks Dad!!! I love you and will always miss you-miss you to be beside me to walk down from aisle one day!

Tons of hugs and kisses from me and sister!












Him: Don't ever worry about how much you want to have your family. Don't be sad when you think that you lose them and you are alone know! Everyone of us love you, mum, dad and my sisters. We love you so much.

Her: Don't let the pass haunt you for the rest of your life. You can make a choice on how you want your life would be now and in the future. You may miss a lot of family's loves and times, but make sure that you won't let your future family miss that treasurers as well!





Honestly, my Heavenly Father, another Father of mine has blessed my life. He is really showing me how much He loves me and works through times and spaces that I was in and I am in now so that I could have a fruitful life in Him now and future. Thank you Lord, may Your love always give me strength to live my life accordingly to Your will and plan. Blessed my sister and people that have been blessings in my life. Nothing much I can do for them to thank them besides being thankful and grateful and submitting their life to Your hands. Amen!!

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