Honestly, I realize that my self have been over negative on few things. I am not sure if it is 'few issue' or an issue. The issue has been arousing the conflict me and my loved one, always...I am trying to get my self away from it, but every moment of my thought always drives me to that negative direction! I am tired of it, but I believe my loved would be more even tired, I feel so sorry for him...
I am over jealousy people! My close friends also said so. I am so sad but I can not deny that is me! I am just thinking to much actually and have been taking things seriously...I hate and jealousy if there is anything related to my loved one with ladies, especially his EX girl friends and ladies good friends. It is common, but for me, case is going far further than common. I don't even like to hear their names mentioned, I feel it is a kind of threat for us (even one is getting marry, one is China and I don't worry about her, one is very much in love with her loved one now), I hate to hear about them but I always like to know about them. By the time, I will come with tons of worry about comparison; who is more prettier, who is nicer, bla bla bla...Am I grazy? I am so sad for my self and my loved one, really :(
Things don't end here. Yesterday, I knew that one of his friends tagged my loved one in her baptism pic, I should be happy for her as in family of Christ, but I am not. I was uncomfortable. I don't angry, just dislike, I think there is the different right? I don't even understand, but again, I would prefer my loved one to always share about him and others, but it is quite impossible. According to one of my church's elders, man is not a sharing type, I guess so, I talk and share more usually. Now, the only thing I could do is turn my self to God and everything will fall in its place...Please help me Father!!!!
...and one wish to my loved one, keep loving me, don't stop loving me, I know I have made most of your time to be so tiring and stressful days. It is because I am scared losing you =D
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