Yesterday, I had a really bad day. Being lack of sleep, made my mood swing the whole day. I was super tired and sleepy. I hoped I could stop the time for awhile and sleep, but it was impossible. My sister and her new family were coming yesterday as well. I picked them up from the airport and we headed for lunch at QB Mall. One thing, I didn't feel comfortable, as maybe I am tired, moody and all. I believe they could see it as well (my bitter and tired face). I feel like dealing with strangers, even with my sister. I arranged few things and plan for them, but it didn't seem to work well. So, I'll just let them do in their way. I could see that her husband didn't like it. Well, I don't know, but we were more likely to be strangers for each other for whole day.
It was first thing and second things was that my conversation with my loved ones most probably led to the conflict. It happened at least three times yesterday, excluded days before. I felt like to give up as I always made him feel bad and mad. I was thinking a break and a stop would help us maybe, but it should not be the way. I am getting worst each day and I feel like to go away from place people know me, to go somewhere far far away where no one know me.
Yesterday's bad day not end yet, I had a minor accident with my car. I am okay, but the car was not okay. I felt so sad. I blamed the guard too, he should be guarding me when I wanna go in to park my car too. I missed the lower pillar on the other side.
It was not the end of the day, my auntie told me again about my sister things and her new family. I felt like, stop telling me all this. I need to know the truth too, but the whole things screwed my mind up. More or less, those bad things influenced me. It was so bad. My sister never told me anything; maybe she knew and hide it, nothing happen for sure or she just knows nothing plainly. I am tired to listen all this. When I feel that, I choose to tell my uncle (from my mom side) to know about it. Rather than sharing with my loved one. It is like adding his burden and mind, also I can guess what he would tell me. I hope I won't be adding the burden to him as well.
I hope things would goes well. I am tired.
No comments:
Post a Comment