The days before today

Finally, I could spare some of my times today after a busy and lazy week. Days were up and down. I have been having swinging mood recently and I could feel that I am not really happy, but I am still okay! :) Recent life was also okay towards me, a bit tiring, restless, unmotivated, a lil' happy here and there, up here and down there...Nevertheless, thanks God for holding me all the time, I just realize for another time that I really need the strength from Him for my daily life. Life is not easy, as I am grower older, as time flies, things are change in the way we may never know, people or things, I need to cope well with each of them...At least, I am hoping that myself would be doing okay and good with them; both people and things. Thank you Father, please keep holding me...

Some highlights of the days before today were here!

1. I discovered lots lots and lots of great blogs and blogger...I fall in love with some of them, their writing, their thoughts, the way they write, their photos, the craft and all...More to discover in my way I believe...Some greats ones are Fedora's , Diana Rikasari, Mommies blog (Their babies are super cute!), DIY goodies, Famous Mila's blog and many more.

2. Sharing is happiness. Yes, for sure. I found my self to be happy in sharing. Few days ago, I was giving two fruits each to my Supervisor and the Indonesian maid at my office, but who knows, the fruits were not as sweet as I thought, hehehe...It made my day on that particular day!

3. As always, there would be definitely a moment in life that drive everyone of us to go back to the nature of human life; all the bits of the laws and regulations. Days before today, people and things reminded me about putting faith in my Lord Jesus Christ, being faithful and obedience in Him, being positive in life, learning to see only good and positive side of people, being thoughtful (It sure make our day brighter that day before). Oh yes, be positive is the key!

4. I enjoy my self in worshiping and singing for Him, I will always do. Every moment is special on its ways. Songs would be my just sound rightly as my prayer. I am drown and sink in the presence of Him through the songs and time. The time, musics and lyrics, even people make and draw me lots of emotion and pictures, good and bad. Each of them reminds how great my life is, how I could change my future, how I could I deal with my past and yet to come, how I could be better person in this life, what I could do better for Him and others and how sad or happy with people and things my life. I love the time worshiping Him; singing, praising, praying, dancing and claiming Himself as great God and Fathers. I wish me and my man would learn a lot through out our journey together with Him, things and people around me and of course, be more even faithful and obedience! Lord, I have nothing for you...but you have my heart and my voice that could adore you all the time, praising and worshiping you...

Sometimes, I get my self to have focus wrongly when I am serving Him and people, but now, I just wanna do things justly in His way. If it's for me to do, I would be chosen in His way. If not, I am maybe prepared for greater calling or I may be having more learning time compared to others for greater job. Amen!

5. I realize, being a lover for another lover was not about laughing, joking and being happy all the way. Everyone dreams for that kind of relationship. Me too, but recently, I realize being in relationship is not about being happy and being together all the time. I feel me and my man are far apart sometimes. I feel he is not caring an loving me enough sometimes. I have time when I think he should do this more for me just like other do. They all are so wrong. I have so so selfish if I think he is never doing enough for me and expecting him to do more and more. He told me once, loving someone is not about what the other lover can do for you but what you can do for him/ her. How much know I realize that it is true.What I could do for him instead worrying and guessing what he would do for me today, tomorrow and the next day?

Being in relationship, I could not expecting what he would do for me today, tomorrow and the next day. Would he/ she always love and care me like today? I have no control and no right to say this and that to him. We are human who will never have satisfaction over things and people. No matter how hard he/ she tries, he/ she may not ever get things to our own way. We will never feel enough. He told me too, let's just commit our relationship to God and focus on Him. If we could do this, trust Him, things in us would be so beautiful at His  time and fall at the right place at the right time. There is no more worry. Thanks to my love! All this time, I believe God sent me one of His greatest person to me. Yes, I do believe he is! I believe we are placed to complete, love and support each other mentally and spiritually. He is with us and would make things work for both us because me and him are His princess and prince. We both are His beloved children I could not deny that I made him mad most of time. I made him sad too. I made, I thought and said bad things to him and about him.  After all, we learn something, to the least. He learn somethings and  me too. I believe if things between us are wrong or is not working out, I want to stop my self blaming him or myself. I want to refocus and recommit things again to my Father hand. I believe loving each other is not only about bringing happiness to him/ herself every time. It is more about how you accepting the bad/ good of that person as the whole man, completing and supporting each other at the journey, growing up together spiritually and mentally in His way and at the end of the day, to see how great we has made the person in the way he/ she is throughout the time. People would think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life and that is you my man.

For my love, a bunch of thanks and prayers go to you! ❤

6. I want to live my own life in my way accordingly to His way! I want to get my own self to get out from people's shadow; their thoughts, their expression and their behaviors towards me. I don't care, if I care, those would be just a reference for my self introspection and review to be more even better in the future. :)