16.04.2011

It was Saturday and I was going to attending a seminar in FGA Centre, Air Hitam. It was a grief support seminar and was conducted by Edmund Ng. I would give you a brief about who he is in my next post, okay? Sorry for delay ;)


I was struggling whether to attend it or not, but with the companion of the elder of my church, I would be going. I went there with Sister Ee Wei, one of elders in my church, who is also the closest person I attach too. It was one day seminar from 9am to 4pm. For me, it was good seminar, especially to equip every one of us at any age to have a knowledge and better understanding how to help, deal and understand person who mourns.


I got to know lots of things about grieving and mourning. Even it was not really interactive seminar, but it helped me to have more and deeper insight of griefing and mourning. I was lost few times during the seminar because I was so sleepy, hahaha...but, no worry, I gained something.


Through the seminar, I realized I am still in e very raw stage of griefing. I thought my self have dealt well with my personal experience, but not in fact. In seven years, I have dealt with any of it 100%. I am not able to identify my emotion as well. The seminar pointed out lots of points about briefing and mourning, but yet,  I was like hang in somewhere of it, not really this or that.


I just started to deal with my grieving after seven years. I was thinking to help my sister, but it is more likely now I have to deal with my own first before I could help her. Seven years ain't easy, I know my self better; what I feel, what I experience, what I think of, what I hope and wish for. In the midst of my tragedy, I know and realize, all this while I am not alone. My heart and my life are held tightly by my Heavenly Father through people around me; people that I love and people that dislike.


I wished I could cope with it 80%. I don't want it drags me longer time to my relationship and my future, especially my future family. I don't know what impact it would bring, some goods and bad maybe. I have no idea. Sister Ee Wei told me I have to say good bye to them. I wonder how I could do that, I loss them in a sudden when I didn't have any chance to see them for the last time..Deep inside, I am really scared I would forget them as my life goes on...I don't wish their shades fade in my life. At the same time, I don't wish it drags me longer and longer...